Tell a Secret!

Here is my secret:

When I was a little girl...I used to believe in fairies. I seriously thought they were alive. Like little bugs or something that would fly around. Silly, I know. But when I was a kid, I had the biggest imagination! A lot of it came from the Disney movie, Fantasia. I would watch it at least once a week. And of course the fairy part was my favorite! :)

CLASS 4-23-12

I had fun in class today. Even though we were making stuff out of trash, it was nice to be able to take my mind off of everything else and just be creative. (My group made a sad face out of the trash because we were to show "just say no to happiness" which is kind of a weird phrase...I've never heard of anyone to say something like that.) What stood out most to me was when Beth talked about recycling your thoughts and ideas. Just like we recycle our trash, we recycle our ideas in the New Media field. It was very interesting to sit and think about how these two things are related...especially after watching "Waste Land" in class. Which by the way, I highly recommend watching. It is a very inspirational movie.

Fear Part 3

1. The presentation that I reacted most strongly to was Sarah's. She talked about her fear of not being able to communicate with people because she is deaf. I believe it was also a fear of hers to sit in front of the class and talk about her experiences as a "handicapped" person.
2. The reason I responded so strongly to hers was because I felt the hurt and pain vibrations she was giving off about having to deal with something like that in life. I felt how sad she was and I wished that the human race was not so misunderstanding of people who are "different". I sat there and wondered why she had to go through that in life, but others didn't. I wondered how hard it would be to live in this world today, being deaf. She just really got me thinking about how we should treat everyone the same, and that it would really make a difference if we would step out of our comfort zones and make an effort to communicate with people who have trouble communicating like Sarah does. I also thought about how BIG of a person she was for sharing that with the class. God bless her. With the personality that I saw that girl give off in class, she will do nothing but go far in her life. What an amazing person.
3. This impacted the way I saw my project by making me think that I am ridiculous for having the fear that I do. It made me feel like there are so much worse things in life that could happen and that I should be worrying about bigger things.

Fear Part 2

For this assignment, I decided to make a video about myself and let the class watch it. In my last blog post I talked about having the fear of not being able to make people happy or make people like me. I talked about not being able to fully express myself to strangers. This had a lot to do with the fear of being judged. So the video I made about myself helped me to overcome a bit of this fear because I had to show a bunch of "strangers" in the class something that nearly fully expressed the person that I am, what I'm interested in, and what I'm all about. I had to take that chance and get up in front of the class, knowing that I was going to be judged after letting people see that video. It scared the crap out of me...but I think the more I do things like this, the easier it gets for me to deal with the fact of being judged by people. I am starting to come to the realization that this is just something that all humans do. There is no denying it, it's just something that we all do even if we aren't trying to judge someone.
Here is the link to my video: http://promoshq.wildfireapp.com/website/6/contests/189641/voteable_entries/47740767

For the most part, I think that the class reacted to my presentation as I had thought they would. I did get a couple of head nods throughout the video and I even had a couple of comments. I didn't think that I would have any comments. I don't think people in the class thought my video was as weird as I had first thought. Someone mentioned the fact that it was "weird" that I don't like to talk about myself, but I am an artist and this is what art is all about...expressing yourself. It really got me thinking. It is a little weird, but I think the whole reason for me being an artist is because it gives me the satisfaction of being able to express myself through different mediums, not just words. Words are so cheap and over-used...and I think that is why I hate talking about myself. It's easier for me to tell people who I am through art.

If I could go back and do this project again, I would probably still show the video, but try to engage the class in conversation about myself. Maybe I could have asked them if they had any questions about me, or my life. Or maybe I could have asked them if anyone felt the same about this fear I have and what they all have done to help overcome it. I think my project could've been more successful if I had the class talking.

Fear Part 1

I think the number one thing that makes me fearful is not being able to make someone happy. In my head I tell myself over and over again that, "I don't care what others think of me. I don't care if that person doesn't like me." but in reality I know it's just a cover-up to try and make myself appear more powerful. I will admit that it does work sometimes when I'm in public, but at the end of the day I am sitting at home wondering whether or not "that person" likes me or thinks I'm cool. If I can't make everyone happy/like me, I feel like a failure...even though I know this is hardly possible.
This fear keeps me from being confident and in control of myself because I am always trying to please other people. It also keeps me from expressing myself and showing others who I really am. I have always been told that I am a very hard person "to get to know". This affects my life when it comes to making friends and also affects my creativity as an artist. I really hope that one day I will be able to completely break out of my shell...even to strangers.
So for me, fear is something in my life that keeps me from being able to fully express myself as an individual being.

I think my classmates might think I'm a little weird after I show them what I have made for this fear assignment. I don't think I will get much of a reaction...maybe some blank stares or a couple of head nods. I doubt anyone will even have a comment.

What Has Stuck Sideways?

1.  Three things that I remember from this class thus far include the following:

• Beth showing us the beautiful rocks underneath the fluorescent light. I remember it making me think deeper about seeing "ugly" things in a beautiful way.
• I remember the day Beth brought in all the different, interesting instruments. I couldn't believe how such a simple thing (like the bowl and masher) could make such a loud, appealing sound.
• I remember the girl who showed her project about the light bulb with water in it to the class. I loved the way she connected that project with the recent tornado that happened in southern Indiana. I recall my senses to feel sorry for her and all of the people in her hometown. 

2.   Experiences that I have had in this class are way different than others because it is more personable. I feel like I learn life lessons weekly rather than just learning a "daily lesson" from a textbook. I also like the fact that everyone in the class shares what they have created. I find it to be very inspirational.

3.  What I would like to get out of the rest of this class is to continue learning about myself and what is best for me. It's amazing what you can learn about yourself if you just take the time to do it. I've never been given a chance like in this class to do something like that.

CLASS 3-5-12

What I remember most about class today was watching the pottery video. I found it to be very refreshing on seeing a different approach and view towards artistic creations. I also never knew you could make wine out of dandelions. Pretty cool! Oh...and I absolutely loved seeing Beth's pottery of her own that she made. The tea-pot was just beautiful. I wonder if Beth would consider selling it?!