Thursday, April 12, 2012

Fear Part 2

For this assignment, I decided to make a video about myself and let the class watch it. In my last blog post I talked about having the fear of not being able to make people happy or make people like me. I talked about not being able to fully express myself to strangers. This had a lot to do with the fear of being judged. So the video I made about myself helped me to overcome a bit of this fear because I had to show a bunch of "strangers" in the class something that nearly fully expressed the person that I am, what I'm interested in, and what I'm all about. I had to take that chance and get up in front of the class, knowing that I was going to be judged after letting people see that video. It scared the crap out of me...but I think the more I do things like this, the easier it gets for me to deal with the fact of being judged by people. I am starting to come to the realization that this is just something that all humans do. There is no denying it, it's just something that we all do even if we aren't trying to judge someone.
Here is the link to my video: http://promoshq.wildfireapp.com/website/6/contests/189641/voteable_entries/47740767

For the most part, I think that the class reacted to my presentation as I had thought they would. I did get a couple of head nods throughout the video and I even had a couple of comments. I didn't think that I would have any comments. I don't think people in the class thought my video was as weird as I had first thought. Someone mentioned the fact that it was "weird" that I don't like to talk about myself, but I am an artist and this is what art is all about...expressing yourself. It really got me thinking. It is a little weird, but I think the whole reason for me being an artist is because it gives me the satisfaction of being able to express myself through different mediums, not just words. Words are so cheap and over-used...and I think that is why I hate talking about myself. It's easier for me to tell people who I am through art.

If I could go back and do this project again, I would probably still show the video, but try to engage the class in conversation about myself. Maybe I could have asked them if they had any questions about me, or my life. Or maybe I could have asked them if anyone felt the same about this fear I have and what they all have done to help overcome it. I think my project could've been more successful if I had the class talking.



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